What a hot time it is...

temperatures in the high 30s this weekend has made it unbearable. for our climate it is hot. we have one fan in our house. our windows are open 7/24. This is mid july. we really need an air conditioner. roommate went all over the city to find a fan and none available at present.
found it so warm to do a lot, even emails and blogging were a struggle.
little kitty, Cleopatra, nick name is Pooh Bear. She has found it most unberable with the heat.
the process of my change is still going forward.
enjoy a wet young man that is all I could find in my emails worth sharing with you all.

Chris Benoit thoughts shared from Mercedes

Crap.Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying I knew him. I didn't. I knew the legend, but the difference was that I watched the whole legend take shape.
There was this kid in high school who was completely obsessed. He lived and breathed weight training. Intense was not the word for it. "Consumed by," more like. Lunch hours, after school, spares, he'd be in the O'Leary weight room, working out as much as he could, sometimes sparring off in combat against any opponents he could find on the blue mats (spread out on concrete! yikes!), schooling himself on several performance styles, from Olympic to Championship. I remember Ross Ongaro, who later became coach of a pro-soccer team called the Edmonton Drillers and then moved on to who-knows-where, hanging around with him.
Of course, I was in a whole different world. I loathed the sports, loathed the weight room, but still, I learned a lot about what was going on. This was a man determined. This was a man who would teach me that success is not lucked into -- it takes every waking moment, every ounce of your energy, and every thought in your head. The only reason that he finished high school was because the Hart family would not take him in and train him if he didn't.
I make him sound scary. He wasn't. Even to a bookish physiophobe like myself, he was the nicest guy. His intensity didn't stretch out past his own body, his own daily routine. This was someone who was disciplined, and who seemed to know how to limit that discipline so that it didn't tread on the lives of others. His world was still open to others who didn't normally fit it, even if they weren't "cool" in the eyes of his peers. I remember him stepping in to get a bunch of his buddies to lay off when they started in on me about my "flood pants." I won't say a whole lot else to glorify him. I shouldn't. There are some acts which, when committed, obliterate all other virtues that the offender may have had.
Perhaps Chris Benoit understood this, when he killed himself, after murdering his wife and son.
I still can't believe it enough to say it. Crap. Even though wrestling wasn't my world (although during the stealth years I'd spent living as a girl in drag, several friends would force me to watch his career unfold on television and in PPVs), I always kept him in mind when I needed to drive myself forward, when I needed to put enough sweat into something to get it done. Even in recent years with transition, I would remind myself because of his career trajectory as an example, that "you have to live and breathe it, you have to live and breathe it," like a mantra. Here I'd thought I'd abandoned all my former idols, only to see that I hadn't, when yet another idol with clay feet has fallen.
Crap.

New keyboard

Roommate's computer gets replaced and i get a new keyboard and a mouse. Now I can use the shift key again. Thank you roommate.
Hope you like the photos today.

roommate has computer problems

my roommate has computer problems. it is hard to stand by and watch. but that is what one must do.

mid way through long weekend

it is 2.30 am sunday morning. this is the victoria day long weekend. half way through.
went with roommate, ace, and ashley to buddy's. ace works at buddy's and ashley enters the saturday night pool tournament. roomie was tired to start with so she was struggling to be out. i decided to visit some old gay friends. flirt with a young man who was with his two brothers and a woman, look like a girlfriend of one. now i wondered about them. are they all gay or bi. strange. his name was andy. they all seemed like pool sharks.
got home decided to do a few entries into blog. you will love the fire that gets taken care of or should i say the fireman that is so hot that it takes to hotties to try to cool him off, but does he get cooled off or does he just get hotter or them....
so onward to the sunday of a long weekend. sleep in and enjoy.

another week has come and gone

sitting at home alone watching tv. roommate and guests have gone out to buddy's. i decided to stay at home for the evening. watching the movie 'the fockers' and other shows.
went to synagogue this morning. it was nice. ella, my friend hosted the kuddish after service. came home and relaxed.watched some movies and rested. it was surely a great sabbath.
looked at emails and founds some gems of items. from my horoscope and some hotties to enjoy.

the girls are here

it is thursday evening, just finnished having tea, with mercedes, natalie, and april. we had ribs, chicken, and veggies. we are now sitting around having some talk. we talked about religion and now we are talking about whatever.
it is raining out side and no pigeons across the street. they are probably hiding from the rain. i lov e the sound and smell of a spring rain.
so this is about it for now. talk soon.

transgender sunday

sundays are coronation street from 8-10 am. it was exciting to see danny getting in trouble about the real will of mike, his father. wonder where it will be going...
it is the last sunday of the month and the month transgender brunch at prism's bar and grill. it was nice to see carol, claire, candace, joe, etc. had a very good time meeting everyone.
sitting with roommate doing a veggie tray and having her edit my blog errors.

one day left of the week and payday

it is thursday and one day until the end of the week. one day left of driving the north route at work. it also payday.
while coming home from work today i thought it would be nice to go out for steak or pizza with my roommate. i step in the door and my roommate says, should we order in pizza.... is says sure but i would rather go out instead. which is what we did. we went to royal pixxa on 122 street and 118 ave.
i am very tired so i will make this short and sweet. talk to you again.

letter from transgender community

For the Edmonton Sunday Support Group (1st and 3rd Sundays), I've been planning to turn one of the two meetings into an activities thing -- the Shop Class being discussed is one such example. Because of budget (or lack thereof), these would be mostly potluck-style or everyone going dutch, but could include things like a picnic, bowling / pool, or (when we can find people willing to volunteer time) things like makeup instruction and such. I do have the "Finding Your Female Voice" instructional DVDs, for example -- we could always arrange for one of the meetings to focus on voice development. What I'd like to know first of all, is what kinds of activities people would like to take part in, and are there ways to do these on the cheap. Also, if members have particular skills they'd be willing to volunteer some time to share or some activities they'd like to spearhead, please also let me know.

I'm also interested in collecting local personal stories of inspiration and education for a display project that would be made available for things like Transgender Awareness Week or to supplement the Transgender Day of Remembrance (not to steal attention from the latter, but to provide a reminder for those in the community and questioning that death is not the only likely outcome of being transgendered). This is something that is open to all perspectives, TS, TV / CD, FTM / MTF, intersexed, pre-op, post-op, mid-op, non-op... in fact the more diverse the testimonials, the better. You do not have to reveal your name (if you don't want to, please let me know to use an alternate designation, i.e. an initial) -- only reveal those things that you're okay for people to know. If there are any photos, artwork or other creative or expressive things to adorn the display, they would also be most welcome. Other forms of expression, such as transgender-related poems might also be a good idea.

Take care;
Mercedes Allen,http://sistermercy.blogspot.com/Webmistress http://www.albertatrans.org/

message to transgender community from roommate

As some know, we've been looking at doing a few activities with the Sunday transgender support group.

We are looking at possibly pre-empting one of the meetings, likely the 3rd-Sunday Edmonton meeting (20may07, Victoria Day long weekend), for a Shop Class for both the Edmonton and Calgary groups (we would all be carpooling, as this would take place in High River, just south of Calgary). This is especially geared toward the transmen, who often don't get the benefit of this sort of thing growing up, but it is also open to others in the trans community who might be interested. There is no charge, but contributions to foodstuffs (we're planning to order pizza, but are open to workable suggestions) and gas would be appreciated. Your instructor (and host) would be April, who has carpentry experience, as well as extensive experience in the flooring industry.

Care will be taken with regards to safety; however, everyone is also responsible to practice safety and to behave accordingly.

We would like to get a head-count of how many people are interested in this, before announcing anything as certain. Please let me know, and also indicate if there are any specific things that you would be interested in learning. We're thinking the basics: small hand tools (including power tools) to start. Also, if you have plans for that weekend but would be interested in participating on a different date, please also let me know this.

(We will also be looking to get some safety glasses and probably a pair or two of kevlar safety gloves -- if anyone has some they can bring, please let me know before I buy any. I have current First Aid training, but if any others attending also have that, please let me know)

Axcella has agreed to be at the Pride Centre (Edmonton) to facilitate on that day (May 20th, if confirmed) for the benefit of any who prefer discussion and support instead of attending the shop class.

Thanks; take care;
Mercedes Allen,http://sistermercy.blogspot.com/Webmistress http://www.albertatrans.org/

at the end of the sabbath day

at the end of the sabbath day, 8.19 pm this evening the sunset. now my time to read my email and upgrade my blog writings.
i sit here watching harry potter movie.
my roommate is cooking something in the kitchen. the cat is on the prowl.
i sit here in my bra and my sleep shorts.
went to beth shalom today. sat with friends. went to the lunch after service.
the reading was from leviticus 14.33-15.33 and 2 kings 7.3-20. they deal with leprousy or skin diseases. the speaker talked about the skin diseases from a skin specialists view.
went to the pride centre and watch this weeks movie - the birdcage with robin williams. gloria a friend of mine was there and my roommate. gloria brough her dog with her.
this is my blog for the day. hope you like the rest of things.

the end of week has finally come

it is friday evening, the end of the week. in judaism it is seen that saturday or shabbat is the seventh day of the week. if you know or do not know, the end of the day is a sunset and beginning of a day is at sunset. so when the sun goes down on friday it is the beginning of shabbat. so shabbat shalom to all of you. shalom means peace. the greeting is suggesting that you have a shabbat peace, that is restful and peaceful. that is my hope for you all.
this week was full and complete. my room mate came back from vancouver, last night. the cat is now more relaxed and less strung out.
thursday morning i was called into work at medical delivery systems. i had to deliver mail to the doctors offices in the downtown region of edmonton. i was also called into work this morning to drive the same route. the regular driver, jason - a very hot young man, he has a awesome looking butt. too bad he is straight, lucky ladies out there and he is not interested in older woman either, damn. he went out to a restaurant, all you can eat buffet, he ate a lot of shrimp it seems and got food poisoning big time. hopefully he is back to work monday. hashem, give him a speedy recovery.
i am planning to finally go back to synagogue, since feeling uncomfortable during the celebration of rosh ha-shannah. i wanted so much to be there that i ended of writing a cheque to the synagogue, by the time it went through i had not enough money to cover the cheque. it was also for the paying for some previous events last year i went to. so i am planning to go with a gift in an envelope and begin to pay back the amount and begin to tithe, which is a gift to the synagogue which will be designated towards the shabbat lunches every two weeks, that is my hope anyways.
i feel it is important to go and get back into the spiritual side of my being.
tonight i will hopefully be able to eat out and go to a woman's discussion group with my room mate.
the weather here is bizzare to say the least. we have had rain, snow, sleet, sunshine, warm, and cold. it was like having all four seasons in one week. that is alberta for you. the saying here goes, that if you do not like the weather just wait a day it will change.
last night i wrap my bed with a matteress liner, to protect myself from the bed bugs. i was not bitten once last night.
so until tommorrow night i hope you take care.
i have found a few gems in my email box for your enjoyment.

as time goes by

it is a somewhat la di da morning. woke up had my breakfast, set up blogger, read emails, found some jems in my emails, and now i am talking to you.
it is overcast with sprinkling of rain. the breeze is nice from the window. trouble the household cat is lazing away on a chair under the kitchen table. i sit here clicking away.
talked to a young bi guy last night named kurt on gayedmonton.com. he is 40 years old, 5'7'', 225 pounds, and single. he hopefully will show up tonight at 9 pm for supper and whatever else comes off the plate.
roommate is still in vancouver.
bought a matteress cover yesterday, a new pillow, and pillowcase. i am trying to get rid of the bed bugs in the house. need to do some rearrangement of my bedroom situation, and get rid of the bed bugs.
was thinking of talking to allan, a young fellow in the building, about doing some house keeping for me. hopefully will be able to catch him in the next couple of days.

so it is another weekend

just an ordinary weekend. not a long weekend.
i went to the roost last night but found it slow and unmeaningful for me. so i came home.
my roommate had a boy over to play with. i think she was not playing well, since he was spanking her a lot. the cat was locked out of the room for most of the time. so we visited some.
went to bed just after midnight, slept right through.
had a dream about a group of friends of mine from australia, especially one name chris dickson. chris was my roommate while i lived in poatina, tasmania. he is from melbourne, australia. he knew i was attracted to men. he would say he was straight. in the dream last night he was trying to find something, so he came to me asking about what he was looking for. he said he was hungry, but food was not satisfying. it ended me not knowing what he was hungry for.
no need to ask what he was hungry for. maybe he wanted a sandwich.
saying goes-men have two emotions hungry and horny. if you see him without an erection make him a sandwich, or be one for him.
i am now on a chinese estrogen medicine. be interesting to see what it does for me. i am also off my diabetic med for a week.
shabbat shalom, which means peace on shabbat, which is saturday, today.